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SERMON DATE AND TITLE: 20180506 WATCH YOUR WORDS

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       Senior Pastor Phil Roland

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              Pastor Ray Scott

 

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WATCH YOUR WORDS
SERMON STARTER
          In his book entitled Killing Giants, Pulling Thorns, Chuck Swindoll has reminded us of this statement, etched faintly on a gray slate tombstone on a windswept hill in an English country churchyard:

          Beneath this stone,
          a lump of clay,
          Lies Arabella Young,
          Who, on the twenty-fourth of May,
          Began to hold her tongue.

          We are admonished by the Apostle Paul to watch our character-defining words in Galatians 5:22,
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.    Galatians 5:22-23

Some of us, myself included, struggle to maintain a restrained tongue, especially when under personal attack. Lois is a lot like her Dad, Lawrence Harvey, who had a strong filter between their thoughts and their words. Lois has what I call the "tongue of the wise."
          Sometimes silence is the best reply to a nasty comment. The best reply is no reply. Always remember Jesus on His way to the Cross, never answered his accusers a single word in His defense. Interestingly, the behavioral trait that separates us from the animal kingdom is our ability perceive and make speech.
          My sermon this morning is about filtering your words. Here's a good filter to consider before speaking:
1) TRUTH – Are you absolutely sure you are speaking the Truth? 
2) GOODNESS – Is what you are about to say Good for all concerned?
3) USEFULNESS – Is what I am about to say Useful for those listening?
Watch your words, you may have to EAT THEM!

Pastor Phil  <><<

 

May 6, 2018 – Sheepfold Ministries
Pastor Phil Roland

WATCH YOUR WORDS
JAMES 1:19-27
"The proof that God’s Spirit is in your life is your ability to watch and control your words. Unfiltered words can deeply hurt others. Let all your communication be tempered with kindness and gentleness. Watch your words, life and death are in them."     Pastor Phil  <><<

19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; 26 If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless.  James 1:19; 26

18 There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health.     Proverbs 12:18

The one who posses the Tongue of the Wise is. . .
I. SWIFT TO HEAR v. 19a
19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;
          A. A Hearing Heart - The Tongue of the wise has a Hearing Heart
                    1. Before I can hear the heart of others, I must hear my own                                heart as well
                    2. Eg. Ministerial symposium, St. Elizabeth Hospital 1981
                              Stints had just been released by the FDA for use in the                                       country. I was told as a minister to approach the bedside on                                         one with coronary artery heart disease and ask them, "What                                         is breaking your heart?" You will then find out why their                                                hearts are failing them.
                    3. I must ask myself, Is my heart angry or retaliatory?
                    4. Have I prayed for my adversaries as Jesus commanded?
                    5. Have I asked Him for Wisdom, Discernment and Restraint?
                        “For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the
                          outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."1 Sam. 16:7b
                    6. If I cannot hear my own heart, how can I presume tohear the                         Lord's heart?
          B. A Hearing Ear - The Tongue of the wise has a hearing Ear
                    11 Then He said, "Go out, and stand on the mountain before the LORD." And
            behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the
            mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the LORD, but the LORD
            was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was
            not in the earthquake; 12 and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was
            not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.   1 Kings 19:11-12  
                    1. We need a Hearing Ear on two levels: physical and spiritual                       2. Physical Hard of Hearing corrected by hearing aides
                    3. Emotional hardness of hearing has many causes
WATCH YOUR WORDS, cont., p.2

                              a. Elijah's emotional hearing loss was caused by Depression
                                    b. Emotional hearing loss can be from Drugs or Alcohol
                                    c. Emotional hearing loss can be from Immaturity
                                    d. Emotional hearing loss can be stress, anxiety and pressure
                    4. Am I really hearing my own inner message of my heart?
                    5. Are my words consistent with my heart?
                    6. Do I have an angry heart?
                    7. Am I aware that 65% of my time is spent listening?

The one who posses the Tongue of the Wise is. . .
III. SLOW TO SPEAK - v. 19b
19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;
          A. The Restraining Power of the Holy Spirit is Needed - Prov. 26:4,5
          4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Lest you also be like him.
            5 Answer a fool according to his folly, Lest he be wise in his own eyes.
                    1. Contradictory? No, there is a time to speak and not to
                    2. How can we know the difference?
                    3. We need wisdom from above, the Holy Spirit's guidance
          B. 20% of our time is spent speaking - Proverbs 15:23;28
                    23 A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, And a word spoken in due
               season, how good it is! 28 The heart of the righteous studies how to               answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.
                    1. 65 times in the NT Jesus spoke
                    2. He was the learned teacher, "Rabbi.”
                    3. Jesus was ProActive rather than ReActive
B. RESTRAIN Your Tongue - Become a Boiling Cauldron - Pro. 17:28
            "Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his
             lips, he is considered perceptive."
                    1. When a person is silent, you cannot hear his spirit
                    2. There's a time for silence, and a time for speaking
  Ecclesiastes 3:1; 3:7b
                        "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under                 the heaven:" 7b ". . .a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;"

                    3. A man's spirit is within his breath - Luke 6:45
                        "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good;
                         and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil.
                         For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."
a. When a man/woman speaks what is in their heart is                                        revealed
                              b. Listen carefully and you will hear and discern

The one who posses the Tongue of the Wise is. . .
III. SLOW TO WRATH - v. 19c
19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;

WATCH YOUR WORDS, cont., p.3

          A. Adrenal Response - When the heat is on use Anger Mgt.
          NEVER TOUCH when you or your partner is angry
         NEVER Talk when you or your partner is angry
         TIME OUT - One minute per year of age
         COOL DOWN - Take another Time Out if you need it                     WITHDRAW - Get away from the person / situation quickly
          B. CONTROL your Tongue - Use your Strong Will - Prov. 21:23
          "Whoever guards his mouth and tongue Keeps his soul from troubles."
                    1. Use your resources: Sheer guts and determination
                    "Put a Lid on it! Do all you can and leave the rest to God!"
                    2. At First, Depend on your Self-Reliance and Self-Control
                              a. Use a Soft Answer - Prov. 15:1
"A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger."
b. Silence sometimes counts as wisdom - Prov. 17:28
                                    "Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace;
                                      When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive."
          C. CHANGE How you Think - Philippians 4:8
                    8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble,
            whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are
            lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there
            is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.

A

 

WATCH YOUR WORDS
James 1:19-27 (NKJV)
19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;
20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
21 Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.
22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror;
24 for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was.
25 But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.
26 If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless.
27 Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.

B
CLOSING ILLUSTRATION
WATCH YOUR WORDS!
UNFILTERED WORDS
          A newly wed couple approached me for marriage counseling. I asked them, "Why are we here?" The young lady complained, "He says ugly, unkind words to me." I explained that harsh words can break a fragile human heart. Inquiring further I asked, When does he say the harsh words to you?" She said, "Only when we go to wedding reception dinners."  So I asked the young man, "Do you drink at these receptions where there is free food and alcohol?" He said "Yes," and I asked him how much alcohol he consumed at a reception. Typically, he said, "Just a few beers." Finally I asked him, "How many beers do you drink at these receptions when you start to say ugly things to your wife?" She piped up, "When he drinks 17 or 18 beers, he says hurtful things!"
          I replied in true Dr. Phil fashion, "I know how to solve this marriage adjustment conflict, either stop going to wedding receptions, or stop drinking more than 2 beers when you do attend."
Alcohol consumption destroys the filter in the mind between the spontaneous thoughts and the mouth. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that says it all,
MAKE SURE BRAIN IS IN GEAR BEFORE ENGAGING MOUTH!
Pastor Phil  <><<

 

 

 

 

 

 

RESTRAINING POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT

RECOGNIZE
REFUSE
REPLACE

What does your tongue say about you? What does it reveal about you? If we were to play back a tape of every conversation you’ve had in this past week, what would we learn about you? God hears it all. Our tongues display who we are. What direction is your tongue leading you? Some people say, "I’m just sick all the time" or "I can never do anything", "Things are just getting tougher and tougher" -- what direction are they headed?

Matthew 12:35-37 (NKJV)
35 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things.
36 But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. 37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."

Proverbs 25:11 (NKJV)
11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold In settings of silver.

Ezekiel 18:31 (NKJV)
31 Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die, O house of Israel?

Psalm 51:10-11 (NKJV)
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

Proverbs 12:18
18 There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health.

Proverbs 16:24 (NKJV)
24
Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

Proverbs 4:23-24
23 Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.
24 Put away from you a deceitful mouth, And put perverse lips far from you.

Matthew 15:11
11 Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man."

Proverbs 18:19 (NKJV)
19 A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle.

Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV)
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.

Proverbs 17:13-14 (NKJV)
13 Whoever rewards evil for good, Evil will not depart from his house.
14 The beginning of strife is like releasing water; Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.

Luke 6:45 (NKJV)
45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

1 Peter 3:10-12 (NKJV)
10 For "He who would love life And see good days, Let him refrain his tongue from evil, And his lips from speaking deceit.
11 Let him turn away from evil and do good; Let him seek peace and pursue it.
12 For the eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, And His ears are open to their prayers; But the face of the LORD is against those who do evil."

Proverbs 10:19 (NKJV)
19 In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise.

Proverbs 15:28 (NKJV)
28 The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.

Matthew 15:11 (NKJV)
11 Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man."

Psalm 141:3 (NKJV)
3 Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.

Proverbs 12:18-19 (NKJV)
18 There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health.
19 The truthful lip shall be established forever, But a lying tongue is but for a moment.

Proverbs 17:27-28 (NKJV)
27 He who has knowledge spares his words, And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.
28 Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.

Proverbs 4:23-24 (NKJV)
23 Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.
24 Put away from you a deceitful mouth, And put perverse lips far from you.

https://bible.org/seriespage/11-words-wise

James 3:1-10 (NKJV)
1 My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment.
2 For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.
3 Indeed, we put bits in horses' mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body.
4 Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires.
5 Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!
6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.
7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind.
8 But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God.
10 Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.

Proverbs 18:1-8 (NKJV)
1 A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment.
2 A fool has no delight in understanding, But in expressing his own heart.
3 When the wicked comes, contempt comes also; And with dishonor comes reproach.
4 The words of a man's mouth are deep waters; The wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook.
5 It is not good to show partiality to the wicked, Or to overthrow the righteous in judgment.
6 A fool's lips enter into contention, And his mouth calls for blows.
7 A fool's mouth is his destruction, And his lips are the snare of his soul.
8 The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, And they go down into the inmost body.

Words of Life or Words of Death

Words of Darkness or Words of Light

Saying to a nasty mouthed person,
"You eat out of the same mouth?"

There is an old saying which we used to repeat as children. It goes something like this: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can never hurt me.”
In my estimation there is very little truth in that saying. The fact is that the wounds caused by sticks and stones heal, but the wounds caused by cruel or thoughtless words may run deep and last a lifetime. On the other hand, words which are wisely spoken can be a source of life, comfort, and healing.
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, But the mouth of the wicked conceals violence (10:11).

All of us here know the saying, " STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME. " I am here to tell you that is not true. Words do hurt. Broken bones will heal over a period of time. Sometime we never recover from the crushing words spoken to us by others. I know people right now that are living in defeat and depression because of the words that were spoken to them when they were growing up. I know people that believe that they are worthless, no good, and will never amount to anything because that is what they were told growing up as a child. They are still suffering from the verbal abuse that they received as a child.

 

          I recently read a variation of a story about a woman in an Indian village who maliciously gossiped about another lady and her family in the village. One day she found out that she was wrong about this lady and her family and had a change of heart. She went to the village’s wise man and asked how she could take back all the wrong she had done. The wise man told her to go home and kill her chickens and pluck there feathers and put them into a bag. After this she was to go back and see the wise man again, but on her way back she was to scatter all the feathers she had plucked from the chickens.
          The lady did as she was told. When she got back to the man, he told her, " now go back and pick up all the feathers that you have scattered. " The woman was astonished at such a command and said, " By now the wind has carried the feathers through out the village and beyond." The wise man then told Her, And so it is with your careless words. They are like the feathers scattered in the wind. You can not retrieve them. " With that the woman with a broken heart because of the words she had spoken went her way, determined from that day forward to Watch her words.

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