CHRISTIAN CONFLICT 

SERMON STARTER

          What do you do when Christians are in conflict? I spent Friday early afternoon attempting to bring peace and reconciliation into an impossible situation. It is heart breaking to see people who attend church, to sermons, underline every other verse in the Bible and act like those who’ve never heard of Jesus, nor read His Word.

          Over more than three decades of pastoral care I have attempted intervention between two warring church factions. Each time I have attempted therapeutic intervention, I have been injured personally.  That actually is typical in conflict: the person who is regarded as the highest in worldly authority will become the greatest target. I’ve attempted to moderate a conflict and ended up destroyed by the conflicting parties. They walk away and become best friends, while I end up the hated enemy.

          The majority of Christian people HATE confrontation and conflict. They prefer to express their hostility to one another indirectly. Passive aggressive methods are employed, like talking ABOUT someone rather than TO them. These are triangles of attempted worldly power that are opposite the teaching of Jesus. See Luke 17:3

          This sermon explores the pragmatic teaching of James, the half brother of Jesus and what he says about conflict.

 

Pastor Phil  <><<

 

April 26, 2009 - Sheepfold Ministries

Rev. Phil Roland

CHRISTIAN CONFLICT

James 5:7-12

“As growing Christian believers we need conflicts and applied conflict-resolution skills in order to mature. Christians in every age have overcome through conflict.  It is the seedbed of growth-in-Christ.”            Pastor Phil                                                

1.  Any of life’s activities may harbor conflicts.

2.  Conflicts can be intra-personal or they can be inter-personal.

3.  Conflicts happen when you have a clear-cut goal.

4.  Conflicts are obstacles that arise that keep you from achieving that goal.

 

 “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?” James 4:1

 

SIX THINGS TO DO TO REDUCE CONFLICT BETWEEN CHRISTIANS:

I.   TAKE THE LONG VIEW - v. 7a

     “Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the

        farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it

        receives the early and latter rain.”

          A. Get Perspective - Romans 8:16,17

               “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.

                    Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs

                    with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may

                    also share in his glory.”

          B.  Christ Will Soon Return – Matthew 24:27

               "For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so

                    also will the coming of the Son of Man be.”

 

II.   B E    P A T I E N T - v. 8a

      “You too be patient; strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at    hand.” NASB

          A. Impatience is a Normal Human Reaction to Conflict

                 1. Immaturity to rush through conflict

                 2. We want everything resolved NOW

            B. Excessive Rage in the Midst of Conflict

                        1. Absorbs Creative, Thinking Energy and Ability

                        2. Increases Personal Pain in Conflicts  - Matt. 5:23-26

                           "Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember

                             that your brother has something against you, "leave your gift

                             there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to

                             your brother, and then come and offer your gift. "Agree with your

                             adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your

                             adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to

                             the officer, and you be thrown into prison. "Assuredly, I say to

                             you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the

                             last penny.”

III.  ALLOW YOUR HEART TO BE STRENGTHENED - v. 8b

      “Establish your hearts”  “Strengthen your hearts”  “Stand Firm”

          A. Guarded Heart Can Become a Hardened Heart

                 1. Chip on the shoulder

                 2. Barrier of cynicism

            B. God wants to give us a “heart of flesh” - Ezekiel 11:19

              "Then I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them,

               and take the stony heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh,”

IV.  STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT ONE ANOTHER - v. 9

     “Do not grumble against one another, brethren, lest you be condemned.

        Behold, the Judge is standing at the door!”

          A.  Holding Grudges

                  1. Revenging – “I don’t get mad, I get even!”

                  2. Leads to Bitterness – Hebrews 12:14,15

                    “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will

                      see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of

                      God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by

                      this many become defiled;”

            B.  Rehearsing Hostility

                  1. Remembering Injustice

                  2. Enjoying the “Victim Role”

V.  ENDURE TRIALS WITH JOY - v. 11

      “Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the

         perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord; that the Lord is

         very compassionate and merciful.”

          A. Count It All Joy - James 1:2-4

            “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing

                that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have

               it’s perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

          B. Jesus Faced the Cross With Joy - Heb. 12:2,3

              “looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy

                   that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and

                   has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him

                   who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you

                   become weary and discouraged in your souls.”

VI.  D O N ‘ T    S  W  E  A  R - v. 12

      “But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or

         with any other oath. But let your "Yes," be "Yes," and your "No," "No," lest

         you fall into judgment.”

          A. Don’t Sin with the Tongue / Easy to get “mouthy” in conflict

            B. Neither Out Loud or in the Heart

                 1. Practice good boundaries with yourself - (Your spiritual life)

                 2. Practice good boundaries with others

                 3. Practice good boundaries with God

 

CHRISTIAN CONFLICT, Text:

James 5:7-12

7  Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain.

8  You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.

9  Do not grumble against one another, brethren, lest you be condemned. Behold, the Judge is standing at the door!

10  My brethren, take the prophets, who spoke in the name of the Lord, as an example of suffering and patience.

11  Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord; that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.

12  But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath. But let your "Yes," be "Yes," and your "No," "No," lest you fall into judgment.

 

CHRISTIAN CONFLICT

Doing a Healthy Conflict Intervention

 

Intervention involves lots of time and patience. There are a few things you can do to calm a heated situation.

 

1.  LISTEN WITH YOUR HEART – Love people with your listening

     skills. You have two ears and one mouth, so you need to listen

     twice as much as you speak. Listen for the emotional tones in the

     voices around you and respond appropriately.

 

2.  BE SUPPORTIVE

          a. TIME - We give people the time they need. It takes as

               long as it takes. Do not wind or look at your watch. It is a

               good idea to put your watch away. There is no time in heaven. Start getting used to it now.

          b. EYE CONTACT - You can express Jesus’ love for people

               with your eyes. Watch your affect so that your eyes aren’t

               too open. That could suggest, anger, fear of alarm. Relax

               the muscles around your eyes.

          c. APPROPRIATE BODY LANGUAGE - Keep your hands and

               palms outward to denote acceptance and openness. Never

               cross your arms across your chest as you listen to grieving

               people. Avoid yawning, rolling of eyes and placing hands on

               hips. Watch pointing your fingers.

          d. CALMING VOICE - Use a softer volume when dealing with

              grieving people. Slightly lengthen your vowels when you   

              speak. Slightly lower the pitch of your speech. Slow down the

              cadence of your words. When you speak rapidly, it excites

              people.

 

3. SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE – See Ephesians 4

 

4. USE THE SPIRITUAL GIFTS – Especially seek God for a Word of

     Wisdom or a Word of Knowledge.

 

5. OPEN YOUR HEART - We come with hearts tuned toward human

     pain and despair. God grants us gifts of discernment when we are

     open to the pain in others.

 

6. MANTLE OF PRAYER - We approach the conflicted with the

    mantle of prayer as our hearts are tuned in to hear God discerning

    voice. Pray with the conflicted inviting the Holy Spirit to bless

    them.                                                            Pastor Phil Roland - 2009