A counselee said to me recently,

            “I love my husband, but I’m not IN LOVE with him.”

I’ve heard this a lot, but this time I was struck by the thought that that’s how a lot of God’s people are in their relationship with Christ. They have declared their love for Him, but they are not IN LOVE with Him.

Many are SPECTATORS to the love of God. . .They’ve seen it, sung about it, read about it, but never EXPERIENCED IT.

Several things will cause you to stay “out of your heart” with spirituality and love God from your heart:

1) Family Trauma in early developmental years

            a. Loss of family member thru tragedy

            b. Domestic Violence

            c. Serious Injury of family member

            d. Divorce or Separation

            e. Economic Hardship

2) Alcoholic Parent(s)

3) Mentally Ill Parent(s)

4) Move to new home(s) or region(s)

6) Parental Abandonment

7) Abusive Religious System

8) Unresolved Grief and Sorrow

I was 32 years of age before I fully experienced Christ’s love for me, personally. I was VERY religious, attending church services as often as the doors were opened. No one inside the church ever told me they loved me. I felt loved only by fulfilling the expectations of those around me.

To be truthful, I was afraid to seek Him about His love for fear of rejection. So I continued until I could go no further as a spectator who observed others as they experienced God, but had no actual experience of my own.

I loved God, but had never let myself go by actually entering into His love. I was an inconsumate lover. Unrelenting, He sought me and showed me His love. This sermon explores the factors of how and why so many of us in the church are feel unloved and unappreciated.  It is a crisis of love.


Sheepfold Ministries / April 15, 2007

pastor Phil Roland


Jeremiah 14:17,18

There is no way that you can communicate the love of Christ to others, unless you have experienced that love. Churches are filled with watchers and spectators who have never allowed God’s love to be consummated in them.” Pastor Phil

"Therefore you shall say this word to them: 'Let my eyes flow with tears night and day, And let them not cease; For the virgin daughter of my people Has been broken with a mighty stroke, with a very severe blow. If I go out to the field, Then behold, those slain with the sword! And if I enter the city, Then behold, those sick from famine! Yes, both prophet and priest go about in a land they do not know.'"

INCONSUMATE = Not consummated; not finished; incomplete”

To be unable to fulfill a marriage with the initial act of sexual love”


A. The Church who is the Bride of Christ – Rev. 22:17

And the Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!"

And let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely.”

1. The Bride is chaste

2. The Bride’s love is not consummated in her Groom

a. Relationship w/Christ is an “arranged marriage”

b. Many have not paid the bride’s price

B. She has not been “Known by the Bridegroom”

1. The church has substituted “Doing for Knowing”

2. The church has substituted “Thinking for Feeling”

3. The church has substituted “Activity for Contemplation”

4. The church has substituted “Theory for Practicum”

5. The church has substituted “Programs for Experience”

C. She hasn’t received knowledge that comes by Experience

1. Greek: “GNO-SKO” – Experiential knowledge

2. Adam and Eve after the Fall – Genesis 4:1

Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, and

said, "I have acquired a man from the LORD."

3. Paul wanted to know Christ in every way – Philippians 3:10

. . .that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the

fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death. . .”

4. When we KNOW HIM we will have His strength and power –

. . .the people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great

exploits.” - Daniel 11:32


A. She has listened to False Prophets – Matthew 24:3-5, 24

"Take heed that no one deceives you. "For many will come in My name, saying,

'I am the Christ,' and will deceive many.” "For false christs and false prophets will

rise and show great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect.”

Inconsumate Love, cont., “Why the virgin daughter is wounded?”

B. She is unable to endure Hardships – Mark 4:16-17

"These likewise are the ones sown on stony ground who, when they hear the

word, immediately receive it with gladness; "and they have no root in

themselves, and so endure only for a time. Afterward, when tribulation or

persecution arises for the word's sake, immediately they stumble.”

C. She has been deceived by False Signs and Wonders

And the LORD said to me, "The prophets prophesy lies in My name. I have not

sent them, commanded them, nor spoken to them; they prophesy to you a false

vision, divination, a worthless thing, and the deceit of their heart. "Therefore thus

says the LORD concerning the prophets who prophesy in My name, whom I did

not send, and who say, 'Sword and famine shall not be in this land'; 'By sword

and famine those prophets shall be consumed!” Jeremiah 14:14,15

1. False Sign and Wonder - Jesus is not given credit

2. Everything must lead to Christ

D. Her love has not been consummated

1. Her love for her Bridegroom is untried

2. Never called upon His Name – John 14:13,14

"And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be

glorified in the Son. "If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.”

3. Never called His Name as her own - Jere. 29:11-14

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts

of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will

call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will

seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be

found by you, says the LORD. . .”


A. Her own spiritual hardness of hearing – Hebrews 4:7b

Today, if you will hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts."

B. Her “itching ears” who love to hear lying prophets

For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to

their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for

themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be

turned aside to fables.” 2 Timothy 4:3

C. Her fear of Kingdom Labor – (S-w-e-a-t)

D. Her Adversaries of Darkness – Ephesians 6:12

1. Principalities / Rulers - archs   AR-CHAS

2. Authorities / Power/Rule of Gvt. - exousia -   EXOUSIA

3. POWERS OF THIS DARK WORLD - kosmokratoras

"Master spirits who are the world rulers of this present darkness" Amp.


pneumatika ponhria - PNEU-MAT-IKA PON-ER-IA

Spiritual forces that are wicked and inhabit the physical sphere above the earth.

5. We declare war on them (Pre-Emptive Strike) - Eph. 3:10