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CONFRONTATION

Giving a rebuke

Receiving a rebuke

Greek: “NU-THE-O”

TO ADMONISH
TO WARN
TO INSTRUCT
TO CONFRONT

 

A METHODOLOGY FOR "CARE-FRONTING”

 

How To Give A Rebuke

I. Personal Offense - Someone who sins against you, personally.


“If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. 4If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.” Luke 17:3,4

 

II. Corporate Offenses - Someone who sins against the corporate church.

15“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’7If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Matt 18:15-17

 

III. Procedure

A. Pray First.

B. Listen to/for the voice of the Holy Spirit.

C. Decide whether the offense is personal (against you), or against the Corporate Church.

D. Follow Biblical guidelines, especially the spirit of I Cor. 13, 1 John 5:16-17, and Gal. 6:1.

E. Let at least one day pass if possible without violating the spirit of Ephesians 4:26. And fast a meal or two unless you have a diabetic problem.

F. Give the rebuke between you and the offending sister/brother, one-on-one.

G. Pray again.

H. Follow up in the near future to look for genuine repentance.
1. If the fruit of repentance is not evident, follow Matt. 18 guidelines. Be sure to go with witnesses.
2. Love them from your heart and release them to God.

J. Withdraw fellowship if person decides not to submit and walk in rebellion.
1. Forgive them in your heart, and intercede for them as long as God's Spirit gives you the unction to do so. But do not verbally pronounce forgiveness to them until or unless they show the fruit of repentance.
2. Love them from your heart, and release them to God.

IV. Biblical Basis

. Proverbs 13:1;18 - “A scorner (mocker) cannot receive a rebuke, and shall come to disgrace.”

B. Eccles. 7:5 - "It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than the song of fools.”

C. I Tim. 5:20 - “Them that sin rebuke before all...”

D. Titus 1:13; 2:15 - “Rebuke and exhort with all authority...”

E. Heb. 12:5 - “Do not faint when you are rebuked of Him ...”
Rev. 3:19 - “As many as I love I rebuke and chasten (discipline)...”

REMEMBER!
Your purposes in rebuking/confronting another fellow-believer
is to reconcile, and never to divide, reject or willfully harm!

RESTORATION IS A CHOICE
THAT BEGINS WITH A SINGLE DECISION!

How To Receive A Rebuke



31”Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Eph. 4:31-32

I. PRAY FIRST.

II. When receiving a rebuke, bow your head and say, "I'm sorry I have angered or offended you, will you forgive me? If I have hurt or damaged you in any way, I’ll try to make it up and do better."

III. When you go home afterwards, pray about what was said.

A. If the "Accuser" tries to confuse you concerning the content of what was said, call the person who gave the rebuke for clarification. The telephone is not the best way to solve a conflict, but immediacy is very important at this point.

B. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER make an initial rebuke by telephone, or email. Your love does not always come through the wires. Person-to-person confrontations are always best.
Romans 12:9-21.

IV. FIGHT REVENGE. Read and practice the spirit of Romans 12:9-21. Never, never focus retaliatory rage at the one who has given you the rebuke. Revenge is a fleshly “luxury” that believer’s cannot afford.

V. READ, AND MEDITATE UPON GOD'S WORD concerning the issue of the rebuke for more clarification and instruction from the Holy Spirit.

VI. REPENT. When convicted by God's Holy Spirit, allow the Holy Spirit to change your mind about you, your attitude and your actions.

VII. REPENT. Permit a change of attitude that leads you to change your behav ior. Repentance is more that a church ritual. It is an on-going part of a believer’s walk with God.

VIII. PRAY WITH AND FOR THE ONE WHO HAS GIVEN THE REBUKE.
It isn't easy to follow Biblical guidelines and confront with accuracy and with love. Thank God for brothers and sisters who love you enough to tell the truth. Remember, “Iron sharpens iron. . .”

IX. BIBLICAL BASIS:
Proverbs 27:6
6”Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
Proverbs 27:17
17”As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens (the countenance of) another.”
Hebrews 13:17
17”Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.”

(See David Augsburger's, CARING ENOUGH TO CONFRONT, Regal Books

 

BE SURE OF YOUR HEART. . .
When giving and receiving a rebuke. Realize that instruction and correction is always for your own, personal edification and growth. Guard against personal defensiveness.

1”Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, you which are
spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness;
considering yourself, lest you also be tempted.” Gal. 6: